Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Yearning, the Drought and the Need over Desire!

By Sadho Ram

Days refuse to pass by and nights, like the colour of it, have become dull in its taste. The slow rhythmic breeze which flows during the evening time seems to have lost its rhythm. Nothing excites anymore and nobody seems to appeal the way they once did. Life, it seems, has come to a standstill. Life, it appears, as if has been over-taken by extreme boredom.

Anger, against almost everything, is rising within and I am venting it on almost all those things. Sometime it gives satisfaction and sometime it refuses to give anything. For depression is attached to hopelessness, so it is out of anger’s league.

Talking to good old friends seems just futile and strangers, male-female alike, scare the shit out of me, so have started avoiding both the gender stranger. The streets appear empty and the sky gives the impression of being over-filled with dry dust-filled clouds.

And no, this isn’t the depression, about which I am quite sure, as it is this new found boredom... boredom which has been caused by a somewhat self imposed pause. Pause from that one and only thing which brings me contentment- Travelling.

My body has started cracking up and muscle-tissues are slowly starting to wear-out. Legs at night become heavy as stones and every morning I wake up with sore shoulders.

I yearn for the road. Road to a new town or hamlet. But the need, not desire, the ‘need’ along with some professional commitment to stay at one place for few more months is what holding me down.

But the reason for which I have taken this professional commitment is hardly fulfilling. This, holding up at one place for past three months, has abruptly put a speed breaker on my prolific creative flow through. I, along with my designing skill, am facing a drought which is just hell-bent on not being over.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

Death and Solace, the Paths.

By Sadho Ram

Author’s note: - The article is not intended to hurt the sentiments of any person, male or (especially) female. It is about my personal experiences and the views depicted here are solely mine and I take the sole responsibility.

I have been saying this for a while now that ‘love’ makes a man lonely and ‘hope’ makes him stupid. And it is ‘faith’ which makes a man blind and after all these alterations ‘life’ offers him nothing but death. Still he continues to follow them; history is there to prove it, even while being constantly ditched by them.

Now few may ask –

‘Why so? Doesn't he have brains?’

Of course, he does and a damn dazzling one. But, damn, it doesn’t prove to be of much use when he is gripped by the naivety and consistent ignorance which in turn makes him do things he would have never done if, only if, he would have had not walked the path of – Love, Hope, Faith and Dependency.

Now there are actions which can’t be explained, no matter what, but still they can be performed in a way which would minimise their effects. Yet man all around the world will never even try to do so.

Like he will never stop loving the woman who betrayed him, stabbed him and even robbed him of his mental peace and emotional ease. And he would never leave the path of hope of getting her back even when he knows that there is nothing in this world which can bring them together once again. And he would probably threaten to kill anyone who would dare say anything which goes against the woman in whom he has his ‘complete’ faith even if the person is telling the truth.

But this is not enough. What comes after is that the same woman, whom he calls his life, abundance him and leaves him to suffer and die as a parting gift. He would still be in love with her and would still hope she will complete him by giving a last glimpse of her before he finally closes his eyes.

Allow me to say – ‘What a waste!’

I pity man (also myself).

Yes, once was a time when I, too, have had walked the same path. I, too, was in love. I, too, would sing in my dreams and would hum her name while walking the barren streets. I, too, would dance while taking a shower and would used to romance with the flower. Yes, I, too.

Ah, what pleasures would I get when she used to hold my hand! The heart would start beating twice the speed whenever she had to get close to me to whisper ‘things’ in my ears. Every whisker on my face and every vein in my body would feel the electric effect whenever any part of her full body would collide with mine. And, in those moments, I always thought –

‘This is it. This is life and everything else is but futile.’

But, it wasn’t. Everything, which I had thought was futile, except her, proved to be life. And, though, today, I don’t no longer sing in my dreams and neither do I dance beneath the shower but I am now ‘content’ with myself than I was back then with her. And though, I have left the paths of – Love, Hope, Faith and Dependency, I still am living hale & hearty. You may ask –

‘So, Sadho, How did you achieve this Contentment?’

Well, then I would say –

‘It wasn’t easy, friend, and it wasn’t tough either.’

It was the summer of 2006, when another set pathos came into my life hiding behind the innocence, which, without any qualm, ridiculed my days of adolescence. Since then, almost half a decade has passed by, but those blunt memories of my yore are still so sharp that it leaves a cut mark every time I try to walk by it, ignoring unknowingly and sometimes even intentionally, with a companion which I quite often choose in these days of my chilling solitude.

But, one decision changed my life forever – the decision to – Travel. Travel not to go anywhere, but to go. As, the great-great affair is not to love but to move.

Hence, I became a vagrant rambler. As travelling gave me a contentment which I came to observe came from nothing but travelling. And, I found solace in books and in people who in some way or the other were a reflection of what I considered myself to be. This couplet by ‘Rahul Sankritayayan’ says a lot and it also encourages me to move often –

"सैर कर दुनिया की गाफिल, जिन्दगानी फिर कहाँ?
जिन्दगी गर कुछ रही, तो नौजवानी फिर कहाँ?"

“Travel the world, oh, ignorant, where will you get this life again?
For life is something if it remains, but will there be this youth again?”

For he, Rahul Sankritayayan, may be dead today and also forgotten and his words lost (thanks to our ‘Great Government’ because of which his out of 150 published books not a single one is to be found in any of the book store or even at national library. Worst, the net, too, doesn’t have much about him) but he was the only one who travelled the distance between India and Tibet on foot, and not once but many times.

No, he wasn’t insane!

He brought back hundreds of Vedas and Literatures and Language books which were stolen from Indian and smuggled to Tibet. For those who don’t know, he is known as the world’s biggest traveller, ever and is considered the Second Buddha.

So, now you know how I achieved this contentment. As of now, I have travelled far more cities than the total sum of years in my life and have lived in more villages than any of you, who are currently reading this article, can ever imagine (If you want I can prove this).

A Traveler Bard’s petty experiences for you