Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Yearning, the Drought and the Need over Desire!

By Sadho Ram

Days refuse to pass by and nights, like the colour of it, have become dull in its taste. The slow rhythmic breeze which flows during the evening time seems to have lost its rhythm. Nothing excites anymore and nobody seems to appeal the way they once did. Life, it seems, has come to a standstill. Life, it appears, as if has been over-taken by extreme boredom.

Anger, against almost everything, is rising within and I am venting it on almost all those things. Sometime it gives satisfaction and sometime it refuses to give anything. For depression is attached to hopelessness, so it is out of anger’s league.

Talking to good old friends seems just futile and strangers, male-female alike, scare the shit out of me, so have started avoiding both the gender stranger. The streets appear empty and the sky gives the impression of being over-filled with dry dust-filled clouds.

And no, this isn’t the depression, about which I am quite sure, as it is this new found boredom... boredom which has been caused by a somewhat self imposed pause. Pause from that one and only thing which brings me contentment- Travelling.

My body has started cracking up and muscle-tissues are slowly starting to wear-out. Legs at night become heavy as stones and every morning I wake up with sore shoulders.

I yearn for the road. Road to a new town or hamlet. But the need, not desire, the ‘need’ along with some professional commitment to stay at one place for few more months is what holding me down.

But the reason for which I have taken this professional commitment is hardly fulfilling. This, holding up at one place for past three months, has abruptly put a speed breaker on my prolific creative flow through. I, along with my designing skill, am facing a drought which is just hell-bent on not being over.