By Sadho Ram
It has been about 2 months or so since I stirred out of the concrete jungle, the city of dreams – Bombay, leaving my friends, my foes, the gatherings at Rock-Beach, the much awaited 4th Tuesdays of every month for one of the best things in Bombay – 2 hours of poetry reading Session at Prithvi and virtually a bit of everything.
The day I left Bombay I also Left a part of me there… a part which was as liberated as wind and as gregarious as the streets are.
And at this moment I am confined in the aloofness of a rather small and an awfully conservative town in West Bengal, known as Barddhamaan.
The reason of my arrival in Barddhamaan was though an exceptionally ecstatic one but the sensation is rapidly vanishing… and as each day passes by, I feel more and more drowned.
Like an enslaved lion I am, searching for that ‘door’ to set myself free and flowing again.
Although I’m almost living the ‘dream’ but it’s only scarcely industrious.
And as a result, I’m always sceptic… sceptic about my abilities to fulfil the numerous commitments I’ve taken up, sceptic about the outcomes of the works I engulf myself in, sceptic of the people associated with it and sceptic about practically every small things.
Life, it seems, has unexpectedly become a conundrum of little nothings, which in a way doesn’t count imperative most of the times but then, they do matter the most sometimes.
But I am determined to bring this ‘detachment’ of mine to its end and I’m going to do it pretty soon. Though I’ve no idea how but I guess my hope will show me the door.
I still very well remember, what my science teacher Mr. Anil Murmu has once told me –
“Sadho, you are a man of free will, a will of a very rare kind, possess it, son, but never let it possess you”
At that time, I just smiled to him, as I didn’t know what to say. But as the time went by, and I started travelling I found out what exactly he meant by it.
And, today, though, I may be “a nothing” but one thing I know and I’m pretty much sure is that, my this ‘free-will’ will make me what I want to become, so there’s nothing for which I’ll ever trade this ‘will’ of mine, as I know I’ll be “a something”… something of a very rare kind.
And one very important thing –
I would have never made it this far… if YOU all would have not been here at ARTH with me all this while. So a GRAND thank you to each of my reader who has now become my friend of solace.