Moving on ...

By Sadho Ram

The life of mine… the way I live… it has always been through doldrums of unexpected happenings.

And so, sometimes it makes me wonder that –

“Why is all my life has been through so much of sadness?”

But sadly, I have never even come close to any answer. And, while I, on one side, kept wondering… my life, on other end, kept tumbling.

I tried to rise, I often did. Sometimes I even went beyond. Did ‘stuffs’ to please... but my life never found ‘that’ much needed and desolately desired ease!

The last two weeks, too, though did not do any bad, but it made sure that nothing good happens. All thanks to the Sardar.

I am currently under debt. My relatives from far land have now started criticizing me, saying things like –

‘1) First you ruined the money and now you are ruining the life. 2) We told you to study CA but you studied something which god only knows what? 3) Look at yourself, at your age I fathered two sons and you… you are not even married.’

Left with no choice but to leave the ‘city of dreams’ for a while and go away from all those friends who stood by me.

Not a day goes by when I don’t regret the day I met the Sardar.

And, on top of that I am the one who is being made to think that it’s all my bloody fault.

Some people sometimes can be real hypocrites.

But, whatever, I stood by what I believed in and there are people who supported me, stood by me, giving courage to go beyond. And, while I made sure that the article reaches to as many people as possible there was this wish to move away from all these mess. But I just couldn't go away silently. As that would have meant that I gave up... and gave up to something which was not only wrong but also unethical.

But now the Sardar, I guess, have learned his lessons (though he is bad-mouthing about me and my work as my article made him delete his FACEBOOK account and his Photography Page).

Well, anyways, life, as I have been hearing this way too much these days, is all about moving on, so I guess, I, too, should move on…

Bye, bye, Bombay… for a while!

Migraine!

By Sadho Ram

'Yaar, Sadho, its been ages since you recited something.' – He spoke while the auto moved along with the light traffic. I shook my head in answer but remained silent. As I was not sure what to say.

(Happens whenever I am lost in something I don't understand.)

And he was indeed right that its been ages since I had recited anything but it has also been ages since I wrote anything (Read: Poem). Life sometimes plays funny games. Yeah, trust me its does. And in very un-funny ways.

Sometimes words just come pouring out and sometimes, no matter how hard I try, it just doesn't help. Head, sometime, feels as if has dried up, with no words or thoughts and only emptiness and migraine to cope up with.

Sigh

There was already this loneliness which has been haunting since... I don't know how long and now this brand new migraine thing has popped up. Every now and then the head starts beating faster than the heart beats of a marathon runner. Vision gets blurred and even a slightest hiss of sound feels like a blast inside the head.

And its not like the thoughts have fully abandoned me. They do come, often is haste, but fades away as soon as they appear. The words, though tasteless, now seems to be losing there grace, too.

And so, nowadays, whatever I write, is always like that premature baby which dies as soon as it pops out of the mother's womb.

My poetry has suffered its most severe attack of migraine!

And though, in medical term, the effect of the migraine lasts from 4 to 72 hours but its been 'ages' since it has struck to the poet in me.

(All I do now is wonder... and wonder... and wonder, with no outcome of any sort.)

If only I could get this migraine off as easily I can damn this off, I would have…

Sigh!