By Sadho Ram
I was not born on the 1st of January. But the day is so much more important to me than my actual date of birth, which is the 20th of August. I'll explain why.
But first of all, let me take this opportunity to sincerely thank everyone who has been kind enough to take note and wish me. It truly means the world to me.
More than a decade ago, when the world hit the new millennium, things in my life changed.
In less than four years, I lost both my parents — my mother was murdered in August 2000 and my father was poisoned in May 2004. He was an influential politician in Eastern India.
In less than four years, I lost both my parents — my mother was murdered in August 2000 and my father was poisoned in May 2004. He was an influential politician in Eastern India.
But my life didn't stop. It went on, albeit with a few minor hurdles. Over the years, though, something kept transpiring and by the end of 2008, it became so much harder for me to carry on.
I despised the name I was given, the identity that was associated with it, and all that it reminded me of my past, including the people. In other words, I didn't want to exist carrying all that further.
But I couldn't just stop. I had a little sister to take care of, to see that regardless of what my situation is, hers is a good life.
After much consideration and reflecting upon the possible repercussions of the decision I was going to take, I finally decided to renounce my name and the identity it carried with it and in the presence of my friend, Swapnil Shahane, I named myself Sadho.
That was on the 1st of January 2009.
I named myself Sadho after the 15th-century mystic, Kabir Das, who — in his couplets — had used Sadho to address anyone in search of something; a seeker. In my case, it became my search for myself.
I named myself Sadho after the 15th-century mystic, Kabir Das, who — in his couplets — had used Sadho to address anyone in search of something; a seeker. In my case, it became my search for myself.
That morning I not only renounced my old name, but I also renounced other Hindu societal norms that came associated with my birth and I was made to carry in the name of keeping the family honour alive, such as caste, religion, surname, etc.
People's reaction to my decision was very... frustrating, to put it mildly.
Almost none of them took it seriously (some still don't). Everyone thought I'm just fooling around, because who really changes their name and shit, right? I kept bearing them on while telling myself that it's alright, people don't really understand and sometimes they need time. So it went on. I found a few who even though could not understand me completely, respected my decision to do so and started addressing me as Sadho.
Anyways, fast-forward to 2013, I was still struggling to get my name legally registered and get myself a government-issued photo identification card under my new identity — not to mention, and still dealing with people who refused to take my decision seriously.
But after several dozen failed attempts and reattempts, in December 2014, it finally happened.
With the help of some really kind people in my life, I managed to get my name legally registered and got the Income Tax Department to issue me a new ID. The entire process was filled with ordeal and disappointments, and it would have never ended if not for a certain few people who used their best resources to help me.
To name a few of them, Neha Vaswani, who from helping me file the papers to finally using her personal contacts got the entire process done, Anshul Tewari and Guneet Narula, who truly tried all they could do to make sure the issue is sorted out, and finally, the guy at the Income Tax Department in Delhi. His name is Azam and he, even though there were some issues, made sure that my new ID is issued to me. No amount of 'thank yous' would ever convey my gratitude to these people.
All this while, I kept celebrating my birthday on the 20th of August, but somewhere in my mind, there was always this thought that I shouldn't, not on the 20th of August at least. So I made another decision, this time to start celebrating my birthday on the 1st of January instead of the 20th of August.
 |
| Swapnil with me. This picture is from 2011. |
Why?
Because it makes more sense to celebrate and acknowledge the date — 1st of January — as my 'birthday' on which I renounced what I despised and everything else that held my relation to the people who are responsible for making me and my sister orphans.
Much has come to pass since the morning of that 1st January when I changed my name in front of my friend. Many who are close to me have become more privy to some of the most vulnerable memories of my past, some of which I've written and published for the news site I work for.
Much has come to pass since the morning of that 1st January when I changed my name in front of my friend. Many who are close to me have become more privy to some of the most vulnerable memories of my past, some of which I've written and published for the news site I work for.
No comments:
Post a Comment